“The tragedy of loving animals is that their lives are so much shorter than ours. Yet the gift of loving them makes every moment worth it.”
Our home is just simply too quiet now. No one barks when I ask “Who wants lunch?; Who wants dinner?’ Who wants to go outside?; "Who wants to run?; “Ready to go upstairs”; or "Who loves Momma?” Only Fionnegan did. No one else sits by my desk with the stare down to let me know it is lunch time or dinner time. No one puts their paws lightly on my arm while I am eating hoping to get another morsel from me. And no one else initiates licking their lips to let me know they want a treat or maybe it was to let me know dinner was so good. Yes, the house is just too quiet now without Fionnegan.
It has been very difficult without him around the house for
all of us – including Gunnarr and Shorty. I don’t think either of them actually
fully recovered. Shorty sleeps in my study with his head on Fionnegan’s bed and
I watch Gunnarr going over to Fionn’s grave and just standing there looking at
it. I have no idea what is on his mind, sometimes he sniffs the area, then he
continues on his way. He was by my side when I dug the grave and buried Fionnegan,
maybe he has some vague instinct that Fionn is there.
There are many posts on Shorty’s blog about Fionnegan, and I
will try not to repeat too much. If you visit:
mydogshorty.blogspot.com or search blogspot.com Is that your dog? You
will find many stories written by Shorty. One of my favorites is 04.05.2025 Sir Fionnegan Barksalot. It has many pictures
about his early days and a few good stories, written by Shorty. https://mydogshorty.blogspot.com/2025/04/04052025-sir-fionnegan-barksalot.html
Fionnegan was born in Dover-Foxcroft, Maine on 11/04/2013 as one of four puppies. His dog mother’s name is Alexis and his father is Cody. His grandparents (breeders) are Lawrence and Jackie. Gunnarr is his littermate and his life-long companion. That in itself explains their very close bond and the distraught behavior Gunnarr exhibits from time to time. They were always together.
There are many pictures of Fionnegan alone and Fionn with Gunnarr and Shorty over the years included in this blog. They are in no particular order but just represent the various phases of his life and activities. He had a good life with a lot of fun and good times with his brothers. I hope you enjoy the pictures.
1st day in his new home. Cuddled up with his new Momma.
Naptime.
They liked to sit on the landing and watch me.
Yawning as big now as when he was a pup.
More fun times at Stage Fort in Gloucester.
Exhausted.
We would walk the trails until they were tired, then rest on a hill overlooking the harbor.
Enjoying a beverage after a sail - a long tradition of mariners!
Always time for a wrestle. We are at Deer Island.
Sleeping on a pillow on my bed. A Sunday afternoon treat.
Good night! Time to get some sleep.
Before we left Dover-Foxcroft I inquired if Fionnegan had a
littermate no one wanted. That is how we got Gunnarr. Someone put a deposit on
him but cancelled. I made arrangements to come back to get him after he had his
shots and a checkup at the vet.
On the way home we stopped in Kennebunkport for him to
“empty out”. We walked and walked but he showed no interest or even a clue that
this was his bathroom break! Puppies! We drove down to one of my favorite
places to see the ocean. I thought that a dog born in Maine should see the
ocean and walk along the shore. We walked for a little while, he wasn’t all
that interested but then he was just 8 weeks old. More time later for seaside
walks. We had plenty of such walks on Deer Island in Winthrop.
I was in a quandary that first night. I was firm on that
principle that he would not sleep in my bed. So I left him in the gated kitchen
in his crate and went upstairs. Then the cries started and he cried and cried
and cried. So I went back downstairs and decided we would sleep in my study. I
have a comfortable and very old chair with an ottoman. So I put him on my lap
and he feel asleep quickly and we slept like that for many months. He just fit
on my leg, he was so small – 6 pounds! And every evening for the rest of his
life he slept at least part of the evening on my lap. It all started on day one.
After Gunnarr arrived they both slept on my lap. There is always room for one
more!
He always was a “good boy”. We had run around the yard in
the snow, ran through the woods behind the house, had meal time and sleeping
arrangements down pat – still sleeping on the chair, and he now had his own
“condo” in the atrium for when I left for work. He was also ornery from the
very beginning. I had purchased a heated mat for him since it was winter. The
first day he learned how to unzip the cover. The second day he figured out how
to pull the heated mat out of the cover. The heated insert was securely put
away. He was a very intelligent and active pup. I loved him dearly.
It was soon time to bring Gunnarr home. It was a six hour
road trip and Fionnegan did quite well. We made one stop so he could stretch
those little legs and soon we were back in central Maine. Gunnarr was still in
his crate as he had car sickness and side effects from his distemper shot. But
they knew each other immediately. Fionn put his nose into Gunnarr’s crate and
Gunnarr did the same in return. Nose bumps and recognition of a brother, from
that day forward, they were always together.
My original plan was to put them both in individual car
seats. But I could not put a sick pup with motion sickness in the back seat. So
I shoved his crate in the passenger front seat and Fionnegan kept on a paw on
the top and made frequent checks to see how he was doing. It was so incredibly
sweet. Brothers in every sense of the word. And they remained so very close
throughout Fionnegan’s life.
It is hard to describe the rest of Fionnegan’s life without
including his relationship Gunnarr and then with Shorty. They were truly a pack
and were never far from each other, never out of each other’s sight.
Yes, Fionnegan was ornery and mischievous, and loved to
chase and be chased by Gunnarr. He had some very adorable qualities and was
very good natured. He was a happy dog. He loved Charlie Bear (Trader Joe’s)
treats and these were his reward for learning his lessons during our daily
puppy class. He could sit, give a paw to shake for a treat “How do you do –
this treat’s for you!” was the mantra,
and as important, he would stay on the blue towel until his paws were wiped so
we could keep the house clean. He also loved Nylabones and would hide them in
the yard. He used them as a means for teasing Gunnarr. He would put a bone just
a foot in front of him and then stare down Gunnarr – a dare for Gunnarr to take
his treat. As soon as Gunnarr moved, Fionn would run full speed towards him and
they both jumped up on their hind legs and wrestled. Then they would run around
the yard, over the boulders and through the flower bed and land on the deck,
where they were all smiles and panting. A minute later they were back at
chasing each other again. How I miss those days.
Let outside to play, they wait by the door to come back inside the house.
Fionn would steal treats from Gunnarr and Shorty when he had
the chance. He once, and only once, tried to eat food from Shorty’s bowl while
Shorty was eating. Fur did fly! He ate well, but sometimes I had to feed him by
hand. I have no idea why. He would physically circle his food bowl and then
look at me. So I would pick up a piece of chicken and he would eat, then
another, and another until he just decided to eat from his bowl. He did always
check Gunnarr’s and Shorty’s food bowl, I guess to make sure they all had the
same food. They used to have applesauce with dinner every night when they were puppies.
One night I ran out so there was none for dinner. Fionn looked at his bowl,
then looked at me and walked over to the refrigerator, sticking his nose up in the
air as to point. Somehow he knew that is where we kept the applesauce. He was a
really smart pup.
Football fan from the very beginning. They even watched it on tv with me. Big Tom Brady fans.
Happy times.
Fionnegan loved lying in the cool grass. He did so at every opportunity.
A special moment with Shorty.
My three boys.
My precious Fionnegan. He was such a joy.
He had more special likes than the others. Fionnegan liked
the bean bag, pillows, blankets, the TV room couch and his dog bed in my study. And he did some bird watching with me. He could also calculate if he could successfully jump up on something, like the
arm or back of a couch or on a chair to sit on my lap.. You could see his
little mind at work assessing a situation. He was also partial to lying down on
the floor under the kitchen table next to the wall. These were his go to places
when healthy or ill. He was also a fan of pillows and blankets. And he loved
tummy rubs like no other dog I have ever known. He would smile and giggle so
much and tilt his head back and he also was quite proficient at letting me know
when he wanted one. He got as many as he wanted. I decided a while ago to live
with no regrets, and I did not want to wish that after he died that I gave him
more tummy rubs. He received many, many tummy rubs!
And he had his night time rituals. While I was taking a
shower he would lie down on the bathroom floor, then quietly move to the bean
bag or the couch. When I would sit on the couch, he always jumped on my lap,
sometimes over Gunnarr and sometimes over the arm of the couch. He was
determined as this was his rightful place I guess. He finally learned to growl
back at Gunnarr if Gunnarr tried to prevent him from my lap. Oh, yes, we had a
few time outs over this. Time-outs just
meant away from me and that usually was in the gated bathroom – both of them
together sitting sit by side whining until I left them back out.
Both of them were avid television watchers. They knew all of
commercials and shows that had dogs. Fionnegan would recognize a commercial at
the first note and would start to bark or more likely “run his motor”. Barking
was strongly discouraged. If Fionn was asleep and Gunnarr saw a dog, he would
run his motor and Fionn would wake up barking. They had a secret language that
only Shorty and I could only guess what it meant. They would sit on the ottoman
or in their condo and talk to each other for minutes at a time. I have no
recording of this because I was concerned if I moved they would stop talking to
each other. But it was really fascinating.
Perhaps one of my favorite Fionn rituals was at bedtime.
Every night they went outside to “empty out”, then when they came back inside,
they had their paws wiped and they would race each other around my study and tv
room and then up the stairs. Gunnarr and
Shorty had their spots on the bed and Fionn had his. Fionn had a pillow that
was just his. It was under the top sheet and a blanket. He would start there
and sleep for a while. Then he would wake up and go under the blanket and sleep
directly on his pillow. After that he would crawl out from under the blanket
and put his head on my leg. Next, he would walk over me and curl up along my
side, sometimes with his head in the crock of my arm. Then he indicated he
wanted under the blanket and snuggled close to me. This last until he got hot
and then he would crawl out. He was very active at night. But this was not the
end. He would then put his head on mine, then move up to the sham pillow. He
rested for a while there, then would drop his head over the sham and whimper.
That meant he wanted back under the covers. He did this every night, up until
the night before he died. He loved to cuddle and be close. No wonder I have
such bad insomnia!
There are many, many wonderful stories about Fionnegan. Many
of them are on Shorty’s blogspot or my earlier blogs. I don’t really want to
repeat myself and the blogs tend to be written in real time. We did road trips
to Pennsylvania and Ohio and Gloucester and Rockport and many Massachusetts hiking/walking
sites for adventures. He was really good in the car and he liked to watch the
road for me and bark little messages in my ear. Yes, he looked out the front
window with his front paws on my arm while sitting near the console from the
back. He was an observant little fellow.
It was also hard to get him to sit in the back even though he was secured
with a belted fastener. He actually pulled out of his harness so he could watch
and help me drive at times.
Fionnegan had been diagnosed with Lyme disease and received
a full course of therapy a few years ago. He recovered, with the exception of
some mild joint problems. He was also fully vaccinated against Lyme disease. He
could still run and play most of the time with Gunnarr and Shorty, but I could
see some days when he just meandered along the yard, not really much interested
in running. This was particularly hard on Gunnarr who is always ready to run
and play. And we had to take shorter walks because Fionn just was tired and had
to lie down sometimes. But we all adjusted. And he was always happy and smiling
and giving those famous puppy kisses to everyone and anyone.
On July 4th, he first showed signs of really not
being well. I’ll never forget those sad eyes looking at me from under the table
when he did not want to eat lunch. Interesting, he ate his morning treat and
played outside with Gunnarr. He would take nothing from my hand or bowl. So I
helped him outside as he was unsteady on his legs and then he went to sleep
first on his bean bag, then in his bed in my study. I knew in my heart this was
the end of the journey but I prayed that he would recover. He did eat
watermelon for a late dinner from my hand and he was drinking enough water to
keep him going. The next day he was not interested in his morning treat but he
did manage lunch and dinner. His legs were still very unsteady and doing a
leglift was a challenge. But he persisted and so did I.
He had some good days, which always gives one hope, then
some bad days when you know the truth. The day I saw him propel himself forward on his front legs
while dragging his back legs on the bed just made me sob. We had been to the
vet and she told me he probably just had severe arthritis, but if I wanted to
retreat him for Lyme disease I could consider it. I asked for guidelines and
she said if he didn’t eat for 2 or 3 days to start him on antibiotics. Really?
Did she really think I would let him starve for 2 or 3 days? He did well for 2
weeks, then it was back to not eating. So out came the doxycycline and in 2
days he was back chasing Gunnarr around the house and the yard. But that only
lasted a week as the antibiotics made him ill and vomit. It was tough trying to
give him pain medicine and antibiotics when he really didn’t want anything. But
I persisted. A friend said to try a McDonalds cheeseburger. And it worked. He
ate the entire cheeseburger including the bun.
So it was really a roller coaster ride. I gave him and his stomach a break from the antibiotics for a week. I was beginning to see that it really didn’t matter much. But I kept him on his pain medications. He would still eat, some days more than others, but I could get food into him if I sat by his side and fed him. I had to alternate foods as what he ate one day was not what he would eat the next. Lots of trips to the grocery store to find something he would eat. And he consistently ate McDonald’s cheeseburgers. He slept most of the day and night, gave me tons of puppy kisses and cuddles. And I gave him tummy rubs, carried him up and down the stairs and generally held him when he was feeling the need. He slept on my lap in the evenings and any other spare time I could manage. I called the vet but found them to be less than helpful. So we managed.
Since he was back to eating and giving lots of kisses, and engaging with Gunnarr and Shorty, I tried him one more time on antibiotics. He did well for 3 days, then no more. I knew that night that the end was very near. He made it through the night, but the next day was difficult. I realized I should take some more pictures as these would be the last with him. So they all lined up on the front porch like they always did, except Fionnegan was lying down. No one looked happy. No one smiled. I have a very sad solo picture of him in the back yard. I remembered people doing all of the fun things when they know their dog is dying. So I put him in the grass where he loved to recline, and he worked his was slowly back to me. I carried him around the flower gardens and we sat on a favorite bench just looking at the world. That is when I decided to bury him in the flower bed by the house.
I carried him for a bit of a walk, but he could not manage to keep his head upright. He had a very long drink of water when we came back into the house, sharing the water bowl with Gunnarr and I have a picture and video of the 2 of them. They are precious. He could walk a short distance inside the house but would fall splayed out and could not get up as his legs were so weak. He would look at me with those beautiful soulful eyes, but they were no longer smiling and happy. I promise you Fionnegan, I did everything I could do to help you. I am so sorry these efforts did not help you and make you better. In the final analysis, he died of neurologic complications of Lyme disease.
So I just carried him wherever he wanted to be. I told him I would carry him for the next 20 years if it helped. I have no idea why I said that. Then I was on the phone with the vet tech one more time but that was again not helpful. So we were really on our own. I did not want to take him to a vet ER (they never even suggested that) as I wanted his last few hours to be with the three of us. I wanted him at home.
No surprise he did not want to eat. He did have a cheeseburger
the previous night and ate some chicken and treats for lunch. I carried him to
the couch and placed him in his favorite place – by the side arm so he could
lean on it. He managed to crawl to my pillow and put his head on it while I was
taking a shower. When I came back to the
couch, I held him on my lap until bedtime.
I took everyone outside but he could not stand and I wrapped
a doggy diaper around him just in case of an accident. Upstairs we all went and
I placed him ever so gently on the bed so he would be right next to me. He
stayed like that for about a half an hour and then indicated he was looking for
his pillow. Yes, that was his favorite spot, second only to being next to me. So I
gently lifted him up, placed him on his pillow, and kept my hand on his side.
When I felt his breathing change I picked him back up and held him close in my
arms. I gave him a kiss on the nose and head and whispered an “I love you” in
his ear. He died peacefully and
comfortably in loving arms, with Gunnarr by our side. Shorty was on the floor
by us. I held Fionnegan until his heart stopped beating. My heart was broken. This
was the one of the saddest and hardest thing I have ever done in my life. He
was my boy. He was my Fionnegan.
Fionnegan is buried in a flower bed next to the house close
to our bench. A huge rock that was dislodged from the site is his head stone
and I did get a little stone plaque with his name. Gunnarr from time to time
looks at the site and sniffs a bit. I transplanted a few Johhny jumpups (wild
violets) flowers and planted a few
daffodil and tulip bulbs to bloom for the Spring.
I miss him so very much. Gunnarr and Shorty do, too.
Written with a smile while remembering the good and loving
times through my tears.
